Chapter 3 + Bad News

Hi! So yeah, I didn’t promise, but I did say I would finish it this week, so I did it. Now is the important message:

Saratoga won’t become a full project. But well, I translated the first 5 titles in Saratoga’s page, so I’ll at least translate until chapter 5. If you want reasons:
-I read ahead, and the chapter becomes longer
-Also, while it’s fun, when you read slowly in japanese like me, when the MC isn’t the main focus, it’s not as interesting. Sure, it’s not bad, and fun, but I would rather read it in a language I can read fluently. It’s a pain to read when I’m not that interested. So, if it’s a “pain” (actually, it’s rather good, just that I want more focus on the MC)  to read, it’s a pain to translate.
-And the most important reason, I’m a self-centered person. I thought I could do it, but in the end, giving my time to translate something for other is too much of a pain.

That why, I’m stopping the translation after chapter 5. Perhaps one day I’ll suddenly want to translate a little something, but I think the chances for me to take a regulary updated project is impossible.

Anyway, here’s the chapter:

Chapter 3 – If it’s about the color of my panties, it’s white.

「I’m not managing anything, huh. This…」

He mixed a tsukkomi with a sigh thinking about the 『I’ll be able to manage somehow!』 he said before running down from the rampart. (TL: Do you prefer Tsukkomi or Retort?)

The boy was hidden in a thicket and observed the people coming and going in the main street.
At first, he thought he would be able to talk to someone without them noticing that the color of his eyes and skin were different if it was a dim street, but he became aware of a more fundamental problem.

The clothes.

The people walking on the street wore clothes similar to the Ilnobles from the oases. The men were wearing tunics and trousers. Many women were wearing a single showy dress.

The boy checked his own outfit one more time.
Under his hooded mantle smeared with sand was a kimono made of hemp, torn all over.
The People of the Desert were the only ones to wear this. THE People of the Desert. (TL: THE is in english in the raw)
It wasn’t different than carrying a sign marked 『Trespasser』.

Sighing again, the boy left this place.

If possible, he didn’t want to do it, but he could only go to a street with few people and threaten someone with his katana to get information.

So that people could not see him, the boy moved quickly from shadow to shadow towards a small alley he chose. After moving a little, he arrived in an area with relatively small houses standing in a row. Different from the main street he was at before, the stone pavement was dented and trash was scattered all over the place. The alley wasn’t straight, but narrow and turned many times. It seemed like this area was the slums.

Here, the boy found a little girl who walked a few meters ahead of him. (TL: Yeah, it’s meters, not zals. Don’t ask me why)
Her age was a little lower than the boy, perhaps 12, like Kisaragi. Her black hair was collected in two buns on both sides of her head, and she wore a showy pink dress with a white shawl on her shoulders.

The boy looked around to confirm that nobody else was here.
(My heart hurts a little, but let’s use that girl. Though it would be good if she isn’t too scared… )
While muttering in his mind, erasing the sound of his footsteps, the boy shortened the distance between him and the girl’s back in one go. Then, from behind the girl, thrusting his katana to the nape of her neck, he said:

「Sorry. I just want to ask something… 」

Without showing sign of being surprised, the girl halted normally.

If the boy was a little calmer, he may have noticed.
That it’s impossible for a girl to walk alone in a dark back alley in the slums late at night.
If the boy was carrying the signboard 『Trespasser』, what was written on the girl’s was 『Decoy』.

Without waiting for the end of the boy’s question, the girl said:

「If it’s about the color of my panties, it’s white. 」(TL: She speaks like an old person/sage in manga/anime with “ja”, etc…)

Silence came.

After coming to his senses, the boy who was taken aback opened his mouth in a fluster.

「Wh-wh-wh-what are you saying!? That wasn’t what I wanted to ask…」

「Wait! You bastard! To say such a thing about the secret of a maiden!」

「The secret of a maiden?! Just now, you said it on your own accord, right!?」

The girl showed a little pondering behavior.

「Not only are you a degenerate, you’re a guy with a suspicious judgment.」

「A degenerate?! Wrong! That’s wrong!」

Without minding the katana thrust at the back of her neck, the girl turned her head.
Big black eyes. Refined features. You could say she was a sort of rare beautiful girl.

The girl looked at the confused boy and said:

「Wearing a white hood on his head, a man thrusting an edged tool at a girl from behind late at night isn’t a degenerate?」

「…. You are quite right」

The boy dropped his shoulders.
Changing his sign from 『Trespasser』 to 『Degenerate』, the boy was dispirited to a pitiful degree. After seeing him like this, as if satisfied, the girl shouted:

「Kirie! Is Kirie here!?」

「Here」

Reponding to the girl’s call, a shadow approached quickly from the crossroad a little ahead.
A slender woman with long hair collected behind her back. She was beautiful, but at a glance at her looks, she seemed strong-willed. She looked at the boy with her sharp eyes as if glaring at him.

「Kirie. The same as usual」

「As you wish」

The woman called Kirie coughed once, then she shouted with a loud voice:

「Do you know who this person is!? She is the Mobile Fortress Saratoga’s Lord. The Count of Saratoga, her highness Mio Lefaux Jahan!」(TL:  ミオ=レフォー=ジャハン in katakana)

「…」

「Oi, degenerate. Say something. Aren’t you surprised?」

「Well… Umm, what’s happening?」(TL: Actually the two previous dialogues aren’t exactly like this in japanese, but it wouldn’t flow well in english if I translated it literally, so I changed a few words)

「Even if you ask what, you know, that. When someone with a high social position hides it and punishes the ruffians. 」

「That’s right, that. Hearing that degenerates appeared frequently around this area, Mio-sama decided to catch them personally. So, you’re impressed, right!?」

Mio and Kirie puffed out their chests.

The boy himself couldn’t imagine what kind of expression he had at this instant. More than surprise, what came out was surely tiredness and bewilderment.

「Umm… I don’t know what I should say, but… Please do your best」

「You bastard! Don’t look at me as if I am pitiful! Wrong, that’s wrong, Kirie did it on her onw accord… 」

「Mio-sama?!」

Kirie turned her head surpised by Mio’s words. Mio looked away.

「Jeez! Whatever. Secure him! Secure this man!」

「As you wish!」

Responding to Mio’s voice, Kirie whistled. Then, he heard a sound resembling an earth tremor approaching gradually from the dark alley on the opposite side.

「Wh-what is this?」

「Whaaat? It’s nothing special. I just called my Personal Guards, the 「Black Rose Corps」. 」 (TL: Fun fact, Mio uses “Warawa” to speak about herself, but the kanji used is『娼』 which means “Prostitute” and it doesn’t have this reading in normal time. Normaly, the kanji for “Warawa” is 『妾』 and can also mean “Mistress”)

「Bl-black Rose Corps?」

The boy was seized by an unpleasant presentiment.

「Right, to protect young women like me, no mistake can be made. Thus, it was decided they had to have no interest in women, and be strong」

Mio grinned broadly.

「It-it can’t be…」

From the dark back alley, a group of half naked machos happily joining hands appeared. In the narrow street, like an avalanche, a wall of muscles ran straight towards the boy. Should we call it a painting of Hell?

「Black Rose (Muscles) Corps! Secure him!」

「Nooooooooooooooooooo!」

The boy ran away at full speed.

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6 Responses to Chapter 3 + Bad News

  1. GM_Rusaku says:

     ∧∧
    ┏(゚Д゚⊂⌒`つ ┓
    ┃     ̄ ̄ ┃
    ┗🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥┛
    Thanks Nepu!!!

    And that very sad to hear. Hope you pick this up again in the future.

    And I prefer Tsukkomi over Retort

    Like

  2. CountryStyle says:

    Thanx for chapter! Too bad about bad news.

    Like

  3. redzero36 says:

    ah sad to hear that. I just started and it seems pretty good. Thanks for the chapter too.

    Like

  4. MystiKnight says:

    Aha! Now we are introduced to the other character on the novel’s cover image. I like Kirie’s design too, something about lots and lots of belts gets me pretty good.

    ~~~

    [He mixed a tsukkomi with a sigh thinking about the 『I’ll be able to manage somehow!』 he said before runing down from the rampart.] -> …he said before running down from the rampart.

    [At first, he thought he would be able to talk to somenone without them noticing that the color of his eyes and skin were differents if it was a dim street, but he became aware of a more fundamental problem.] -> At first, he thought he would be able to talk to someone without them noticing that the color of his eyes and skin were different if it was a dim street…

    [Under his hooded mantle smeared with sand was a kimono made of hemp teared up everywhere.] -> Under his hooded mantle smeared with sand was a kimono made of hemp, torn all over.

    [The People of the Desert were the only one wearing this.] -> The People of the Desert were the only ones to wear this.

    [If possible, he didn’t want to do it, but he could only go to a street with few people and threaten someone with his katana to get informations.] -> …and threaten someone with his katana to get information.

    [So that people could not see him, the boy moved quickly from shadow to shadow towards a small alley he choose.] -> So …from shadow to shadow towards a small alley he chose.

    [Different from the main street he was before, the stone pavement was dented and trash were scattered all over the place.] -> Different from the main street he was at before, the stone pavement was dented and trash was scattered all over the place.

    [Her black hair were collected in two buns of both side of her head, and she wore a showy pink dress with a white shawl on her shoulders.] -> Her black hair was collected in two buns on both sides of her head…

    [The boy looked around to confirm that nobdy else was here.] -> The boy looked around to confirm that nobody else was here.

    [My heart hurt a little, but let’s use that girl.] -> My heart hurts a little, but let’s use that girl.

    [While muttering in his mind, erasing the sound of his footseps, the boy stuffed the distance between him and the girl’s back in one go.] -> While muttering in his mind, erasing the sound of his footsteps, the boy shortened the distance between him and the girl’s back in one go.

    [Then, from the back of the girl, thrusting his katana to the nape of her neck, he said:] -> Then, from behind the girl, thrusting his katana to the nape of her neck, he said:

    [Without waiting the end of the question from the boy, the girl said:] -> Without waiting for the end of the boy’s question, the girl said:

    [After coming to his senses, the boy who was taken aback, opened his mouth flustered.] -> After coming to his senses, the boy who was taken aback opened his mouth in a fluster.

    [This isn’t what I want to ask…」] -> That wasn’t what I wanted to ask…」

    [To say such a thing of the secret of a maiden!」] -> To say such a thing about the secret of a maiden!」

    [「In spite of being a degenerate, you’re a guy with a suspicious discernment」]
    – As much as I’d like to help with this one, I can’t read Japanese so I’ve got no idea. Although, putting 変質者 into google translate tells me that it also translates to, in addition to ‘Degenerate’, ‘Pervert’, which I think is more fitting for the scene. 分別 gives me, amongst other things, both ‘Discernment’ and ‘Judgement’. I can’t quite find which part of the phrase gets me “suspicious”. Overall, what I’m getting from the sentence is that the girl is both insulting him for being perverted, whilst complaining about his lack of respect for a ‘maiden’s secret’.
    So, if I had to try and give you a working sentence then: Not only are you a pervert, you’re a guy with really questionable tastes.

    [「A degenerate?! Wrong! That’s wrong!」]
    – If you choose to change the previous sentence, this needs to be changed to pervert as well. Also, unless the rest of the sentence has an edit, I won’t post the other appearances of ‘degenerate’, so don’t forget about those.

    [「Wearing a white hood on his head, a man thrusting an edged tool at a girl from her back late at night isn’t a degenerate?」] -> 「Wearing a white hood on his head, a man thrusting an edged tool at a girl from behind late at night isn’t a degenerate?」

    [Changing his sign from Trespasser to Degenerate, the boy was dispirited to a pitiful degree.]
    – You might want to put 『』 brackets in for the two terms, like you were doing earlier. If it’s not in the raws, then for consistency’s sake at least.

    [A slender woman with long hair collected in her back.] -> A slender woman with long hair collected behind her back.

    [Do you know who is the person!?] -> Do you know who this person is!?
    – For her name, ‘Count Saratoga’ suggests that her name is, in fact, Saratoga. The proper way to do it is probably ‘Count of Saratoga’. To give an example, ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ – Monte Cristo is a location, whilst the count’s name is Edmond Dantès.
    As for the ‘=’ signs in her name, they really irk me. Hyphens are normally used for names that have multiple parts to them, but not equals. And I think they usually use the bullet point-ish dot when they space out foreign names in Japanese, right? As much as I’d like for you to just change them to spaces, I can’t really convince myself that its the right decision, so ‘=’s will be fine. Maybe it happens again or not for future Counts, and that’ll make it clearer, but whatever.

    [「Oi, degenerate. Say something. You aren’t surprised?」] -> 「Oi, degenerate. Say something. Aren’t you surprised?」

    [When someone with a high social position hide it and punish the ruffians.] -> When someone with a high social position goes incognito and punishes ruffians.

    [Hearing that degenerates appeared frequently around this area, Mio-sama decided to spread the net personally. So, impressed, right!?] -> Hearing that degenerates appeared frequently around this area, Mio-sama decided to spread the net personally. So, you’re impressed, right!?
    – ‘Spread the net’, huh? Maybe its a saying that I can’t quite think of or something in the raws, but surely you mean to write catch them?

    [Throwing out their chest, Mio and Kirie.] -> Mio and Kirie puffed out their chests.

    [Then, he heard a sound ressembling an earth tremor approaching gradually from the dark alley in the opposite side.] -> Then, he heard a sound resembling an earth tremor approaching gradually from the dark alley on the opposite side.

    ~~~

    Mostly spelling and tenses, so you’re doing pretty good. Nice job.

    Like

  5. Rinvelt says:

    And, one more time, thank you!

    I chose “Degenerate” over “Pervert” because only little girls are targeted, so I thought the term would be more “powerful”, I guess. And I think your supposition is right, it does make more sense.

    For “Count Saratoga”, I chose it because there was no “no”. But with a little research (like Le Comte de Monte Cristo Wikipedia’s Japanese page) I found that it wasn’t obligatory to have a “no” to connect the nouns. So yeah, it’s “Count of Saratoga”.
    For the “=”, I didn’t want to use them at first, but I always found it funny why the japanese would do that, so I decided to keep them. But well, because I give the name in katakana in the note, I guess I can remove them in the translated part.

    Don’t really want to make Mio speaks like this (incognito). Even if she is young, she speaks like an old person, so…

    I guess I’ve been a little too literal. “catch them” should do the job.

    And now, I have to correct everything. Thanks again!

    Liked by 1 person

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